Summer Setlist
Summer has long been over, and we are too. For nothing lasts like forever in this make-believe race. No need for acknowledgements because I’ve done nothing for you to be thankful for. On the other hand, I need to ask for forgiveness yet again for my contemptible actions towards you. Events have been too bleary for us to clear and sort out. And as the sun sets today, another day is born to remind us that we are still in the game. Never out until we have breathe our last breath.
You know what? I think you’ll do well (you’ve been doing really well now I know). I’m proud of you. It hurts because you never seem to remember me anymore. What about all those times we have been together? Have they been discarded like our nonexistent pictures together? I’m still hopelessly dreaming to ask you questions that you’ll never get to answer. I’m still hopelessly dreaming of doing things that we have failed to do. I’m still hopelessly dreaming that maybe, just maybe, you still think of me like what I’m doing right now. Writing this silly post to let you know that I’m missing you. I want (but I won’t get) to see you.
Besides me, there’s still five inanimate souls that are longing for you. Four are with me right now, clean but dull and empty. One is still missing, never to be found. I wish we could go back to the times when we were complete and they were dirty, but alive and happy.
Still remember the games I introduced to you? The one where you get to beat a drum and command an army of one-eyed oddballs? You enjoyed that game so much and I couldn’t help but smile every time I play that game, because that game makes me remember that for once you were happy with me. There’s this another game that you also had fun. It involve spherical little creatures that live in a pastel filled world. Lastly, there was this game that we never got to play together. The game where we have to rack our noggins to solve puzzles that require critical and creative thinking. You were damn too good at those kind of games. You could solve “get-me-out-of-here” puzzles in a flash. You are really one of the most intelligent persons I’ve met in my life. You are beauty and brains in flesh. A woman of substance and strength. I loved you more for that.
The curtains have long been drawn and closed, but the show still goes on. Both of us have already taken different paths. Are these paths parallel? I think not. Someday they will intersect, and there we would meet again. And there I promise that I won’t show you the scars I’ve inherited from our last meeting. There I’ll let you see how different I’ve become. There I’ll let you see that you were right to leave me. That your decision was for the benefit of both us. It would be there that I’ll ask how you are doing but no more than that. I’ll never ask you if you are happy, because it would only crush my spirit when I hear affirmation in your answer. Selfish right? Yes, selfish indeed.
And if, only if, you foolishly seek me then you could always be assured that I’m waiting for you. I’ll be here, in a field of hopes surrounded by flowers of regrets, watching the cold setting sun against a backdrop of possibilities and promises. The wind will always tell you where I am, and you will never have difficulty in finding me. Just think of where I am, and I am there.
Relishing in memories and neglected moments is all I could do right now. You will always be remembered so never say nor think that you are forgotten. When the world has given up and tossed their memories of you, I’ll always be the one (this time) to make a stand and diligently think of you. When all has been hard and tiring for you, I’ll always whisper my care for you and send you my warm embrace.
And summer approaches next year, a year without you. An unsettling year for me. A refreshing year for you. And by that time, my summer setlist is complete.
